The John Deere's

This one? I am insane but I'm not STUPID. This one I won't and can't fix. My recollection is that this was one we had in Maine. The one my Dad fixed....again....and again......again for the 27th time.......again for the~well, you get the idea. It was a nice tractor. If memory serves me correctly this is the one my brother drove into a tree while reading a book as he was mowing the yard. NOW THAT IS A FUNNY STORY and I'll tell it shortly. 

 After we had established ourselves in the old house on a former dairy farm, the John Deere became a requirement. This house? My parents bought as their retirement home after 25 years of Naval service. My Dad loved it my Mom hated it. The house that is not the lawn.  The lawn had bit by bit, been extended via mowing a bit more as time went on. I was in college and then in the Navy and my brother in grade school through the first year of college. I mowed when home and my Dad did most of the mowing, that little 'I can do it myself personality trait'.

This tough tractor had come to Pennsylvania when my parents moved from Maine back to the area where they were born. And for over 20 years it mowed the much smaller lawn, which was a good thing as the frequency of repair was quickly overtaking the frequency of it working. So now over 2 years since Dad passed plus the year before that when he just didn't have the energy to work on it, the John Deere had been sitting in the corner of the cement slab at the back of the house.

,

What was the problem that needed repair 3+ years ago. No Clue. And that question provided one of the few genuine non stop laughs for me last summer. The man we had living at the house last summer asked that question, "What is the problem?"

Hm, you can pick a picture and select any of the available OBVIOUS ONES. But the man asking me that question last summer, as we stood beside the tractor, he didn't need a photo. And what he earned with his question my well honed look of 'Were you born that genetically stupid or is this level of stupidity something you worked very hard to achieve?' So I gamely pointed out a few of the more OBVIOUS ISSUES.

1. Flat Tire

2. That belt hanging on the cement under it

3. The fact that the front wheel seems to have 'set free' the rods which help it steer

4. Mower deck sitting over against the wall

5. Same mower deck a bucket of rust

6. Blades need cleaning and sharpening as their only ability at this point would be to whirl, make noise and bend a blade of grass but not CUT IT

6. The seat? Yes, its there but its facing backwards no doubt due to the fact that its not actually attached to the tractor. Piece of information here:Riding Mower=Sitting to Mow

7. Been 3 years + so without turning the key suspect the battery is DEAD.

8. OH, but can't check to see because doesn't seem to be a key anywhere

Guess the man thought I didn't understand the question so he clarified it for me. "No, what was the initial problem?"

That is when I started to laugh. And I couldn't stop laughing. But did manage, between guffaws, to list 1-8 again. At that point I think my Father began using the man to channel himself from the other side, as the man barked "FORGET IT, JUST FORGET IT!" And went inside. Me? I stayed outside and laughed for the next hour. And when I managed to stop laughing,  I'd walk by the tractor or just flash on the look on the man's face during the little comedy sketch we just played out... and start laughing all over again.

I know what the man was asking because his question reflected how my Dad's mind worked. IF it could be determined what 'original' issue had caused the tractor to need repair was identified......then that would be the starting point to troubleshoot and fix it first. Then on to the next issue until the problem was fixed. BUT, My mind was working like this. Duh, really beyond worrying about any ONE PROBLEM so better to expend my time on ANYTHING else semi productive. So now here we are next summer.

Oh, but there is more to the John Deere saga. A few years back a neighbors brother was selling his John Deere and my Dad bought his.

A second John Deere. One the man, in partial payment for the roof over his head, fixed last year and I used to maintain the lawn. But, something needed repair? I know, I was shocked also, NOT. The 'man' claimed as he was using it when it went belly up, thus he know what THE INITIAL PROBLEM WAS, he would fix it. By the end of October my quick brain gave in and pushed it onto the porch and covered it with a tarp. So now, lawn season had returned...John Deere not working....man now living with his son after emergency ulcer surgery in January. {Ulcer perforated, no doubt due to my laughing at him} So I get out the ramps, upon which I'd pushed it once last summer to remove the rope I'd run over which sort of interfered with the mower blades actually MOVING.

OK, now....HM BET I CAN FIX IT. {This could be fun}  Now if it would just stop raining so the grass would stop growing I'd have time to get started. Meanwhile, found the manual, actually read....well skimmed....through the things to tackle. Tomorrow, ignition~countdown~BLASTOFF!

Oh, the brother, book, and tractor story. Back to Maine....My Dad had several mowers in the barn when this occurred. And I think there were 3 involved in this comedy. My brother started mowing with the John Deere.....it broke. So while my father was fixing it my brother went on to use another mower. While my father was still working on the John Deere the 2rd mower crapped out. My brother went on to use the 3rd. And just as that one crapped out the John Deere was fixed so my brother hopped back on it and went back to the lawn. My father had 2 mowers left to fix but apparently at some point he looked out to see my brother mowing with the John Deere down by the bottom of the yard with a book in front of his face reading......as he drove the John Deere into a big tree. Makes me glad I was in the Navy by then.