The words I will post on this blog? My father passed away 19 Feb 2009 at age 80 years and 4 months. The 'official' cause of death......Renal Failure.....Heart Failure......He stopped eating......he never accepted that the same disease he watched his mother suffer through was also robbing and torturing him. ALZHEIMER'S. Each day since, the fear and anger which defined him at his end, haunts my thoughts. But he is always with me as I struggle through my days. He would be no matter what path my life would take. But since his passing, my mother, at 81 years, lives with me. And an old fieldstone house filled with the possessions of 80 years of their lives, 57 years of their marriage, the last years compounded by that heinous disease, ALZHEIMER'S....has become my responsibility. To clean out, organize, maintain and finally, assist my mother to sell. As I've struggled with all that entails, my father is right beside me. Sometimes saying 'I can fix that'. At times chuckling with an 'AH-HA, you should have listened when I talked about how it worked'. Sometimes a 'HEY, don't throw that out, we may need it'. Frequently a 'No No, not that way, forget it~I'll do it myself '.

Over the din of him talking I routinely hear myself saying HM, BET I CAN FIX THAT. Words that no doubt he is whispering in my ear as I'm faced, once again, with another problem, something broken, or facing a task he always insisted on doing HIMSELF. For my father, for all he was and accomplished and all that was stolen from him in his last years......HM, Bet I Can Fix THAT!





Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Ah, Let's begin with the POOL!

First let's start with a bit...who am I kidding...a lot of background on this topic. The pool was built around 1968. In May of 2009 I was faced with this pool and how my father had done things for over 20 years, alone. The filter-same one as in 1968. Through the years the parts support disappeared, OBVIOUSLY. So my Dad's creative brain had found ways to make, alter or fix everything associated with this pool. He wouldn't have a contractor come out to help him fix it. Because he just knew when they saw the age and how long it had been off the market~they would have spent all the time trying to sell him a new system.
The summer after my Dad passed and I began to 'attempt' the pool issue I had to argue with a local pool company. They informed me this pool wasn't cement and MUST have a vinyl line. Fortunately I whipped out my camera and showed the clerk the pool. "I've never seen one like that....I can't help you". {Hm, not as dumb as he looked!}
Over the last 2+ years I've done battle with everything from friends who thought they would 'help' me, no pressure so vacuuming and maintenance impossible, chemical battles to keep it as it should be, pumps which smoked and sparked just as I was ready to run the filter. Sometimes I think I'm an ongoing Alien Experiment and they must be ROFLTAO watching, as I deal with this pool.

So now I'm in my 3rd summer of pool wars and each year I know what to face and have managed quite nicely. But the filter.....still the one from 1968. And this year the leaks in PVC which my father patched, repaired and replaced over the years, are back with a vengeance. Plus my usual 'entertain the Aliens' with everything from removing the pool cover to pulling the frogs, mice and voles out of the water. Oh yea, the background. Might as well start at the top with the entire property....here goes~~

When my parents bought this house in 1986 it looked somewhat like this~All together now, OOOO!---Ahhh!. An arial tour? Certainly! And perhaps what I've been talking about and WILL be talking about will make more sense. On left, at the 0900 position traveling in a clockwise direction. Tiny little pine hedges which now are too high for me to cut them with a ladder but that doesn't stop me for firing up the chain saw. Pool with gravel area, which now is the home of the 4000+ bricks I've written about. {Badminton net in yard}. At 1100 a row of bushes and what strongly resembles an outhouse-on its right an actual shed where lawn care equipment could be found. Still a few trees next to where the  outhouse like structure was along with the tool shed. The area where the tool shed sat was for many years a garden and for the last 2 years branches, trimmings from bushes + and where I am now doing battle with the Jr. John Deere. THE LITTLE HOUSE which I tend to refer to as the LH, still there but about 30 years of wear and tear on the roof and the little tree to the left of the french doors is gone. The 2 huge Tulip Trees  and our mailboxes. The Tulip trees are still there and every day I can be found picking up branches~large and small~from the front yard. Although still tall much less dense overall. Mailbox is still there but on a much nicer stronger wooden frame.  Down the road to where the dirt road round runs along the bottom, see those 2 trees in the front yard directly in front of the porch, their big suckers now. And those 2 bushes either side of the front walk, about the same ......but the other little bushes much much bigger. At the lower right of the wrap around porch, the Butterfly bushes  have migrated along the side porch up to where a screened in section begins and the pine tree at the corner is above 15' higher than the roof. I've attacked it with a chain saw also to clear the wires. The Main house is field stone and originally a summer house and and smoke house. Kitchen is the addition on the back. At the 0600 spot is a Quince Bush which I HATE. It has thorns which tear the heck out of me as I attempt to mow. Last year I did a Quince Bush version of the Texas Chain Saw Massacre but its still there and insists on growing. When I get my Dad's chain saw tightened up AGAIN, its going to be HISTORY.
A telephone pole with a tiny Hydrangea bush to its left, the Hydrangea is now 10 feet tall and that tree next to it is over 30 feet high. The actual land goes a bit further and then straight down to the '1100' trees.

The house is over a hundred years old and when the guy put the pool in 68', {I am thinking its the story I heard} he also winterized the inside. Which meant a stairway, landing, stairway to the second floor to a loft area with a walkway all around, 3 bedrooms and a bath upstairs. Downstairs a great room with beautiful stone hearth/fireplace. But it has pine paneling throughout and deep set windows so just doesn't let in much light which can really wear during the winter. Utility room passing from the great room off which is the downstairs bathroom and then into the kitchen.

Why, you ask do I tell you all this? Because in 86' when my parents purchased it, my Dad was 58 years old and my Mom 57. He had already bought the old farm in Maine and 'fixed' up that house. And he insisted on doing it again. He was inventive, determined, talented, a hard worker and just didn't listen to reason. Through the years the plans he kept making grew, many were accomplished. But he also commenced substitute teaching for 21 years. And as he aged with normal health issues it was a full time job with substituting and doing the pool, yard, garden and all the normal tasks of maintaining cars and homes. But he just wouldn't lower his goals.
I would say that is a good thing for any of us to do, have goals....its what keeps us alive. But, here we go again.....Alzheimer's. The houses and his projects had always been a source of contention between my parents and all in all when younger, my support was on his side. But as he aged and his brain began to be attacked, plus just plain nearing 80, my support logically drifted to my Mother's side of the debate. He couldn't physically do all he wanted. He wouldn't admit it to himself let alone others. And eventually could not understand or even accept his limitations. But give up.....GET A GRIP!

I always have said about my Dad .....THE QUALITIES WHICH MADE HIM SO SUCCESSFUL WHEN YOUNG WERE THE QUALITIES WHICH PREVENTED HIM FROM DEALING WITH HIS ALZHEIMER'S. I'm certain the same could be said of all who suffer with the disease.

So here I am, my third summer.....POOL WARS

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