POOL WARS CONTINUE

Sometimes I mull over the question "Does anyone else do battle with inanimate objects, speaking to them as though they could comprehend? Do the objects react to threats, physical abuse and cower in fear? Do inanimate objects cringe and change their behaviors due to living creatures, such as ME for example, ranting, raving and threatening?" ABSOLUTELY NOT! Experience confirms those approaches are 100% ineffective. Does that stop me from employing those tactics? NO.
Susan vs Inanimate Objects.......0/infinite

It is a significant difference between my Father and myself. Now before I go further, regarding myself, it should be understood that 99.9% of the time no external evidence of these behaviors are actually observed by anyone. If witnesses could observe, 99.9% of the time the public me, it may be obvious I'm frustrated or stymied, but externally I remain calm. But 110% of the time internally~I am a raving lunatic. And every once in a while, normally when alone but alas not always, the .1% me transforms into a temper tantrum throwing 3 year old child.

I can't speak to the fact of whether my Father was fighting the same internal battles. But inside my sternum I just know there lives what I refer to as my 'PETULANT CHILD' and the child is very real to me. Keep in mind I wasn't a girly girl in dresses, unless the occasion required. But the Petulant Child is 3 years old with curly blond hair {as was mine at one time}. She is wearing a gingham dress, white ankle socks and patent leather shoes. Shoes like the ones little girls wore years ago. Church shoes with pointed toes. By the way I hated those shoes when I was young. Why? Couldn't wiggle my toes. Confused? Obviously so was my mother as she always bought the shoes, made me wear them and couldn't understand why I fidgeted and often took my shoes off in church.

Which brings me back to a major difference between my Father and I regarding the process of 'learning'. My Father was what I call a Theoretical Learner while I am strictly a Visual Learner. Endless examples of this were played out in our lives. At 16 when I asked to my Father to teach me to drive, his response was to tell me the first step is learning how a combustion engine works.......so I would understand how the car functioned and thus I would understand how to drive....?????? My approach was simpler~WHERE DO I STICK THE KEY IN? Learning to drive went rapidly downhill from there. When I bought a VCR and wanted to hook it up my Father insisted that if I understood 'how' a VCR worked it would be crystal clear what to plug into where and hooking up the VCR would go smoothly. He then proceeded to lecture me on how a signal is sent from a satellite and~~~I picked up the VCR and slammed it into the floor. {OK, not my finest moment but hey *&^$&$#}.

Of all the personality traits either through genetics or upbringing we had in common, the process of 'learning' stood out as one of the exceptions. But the process of 'doing' is something I inherited from my Father. Whenever my father would have us help him to fix something or do maintenance of some sort around the house, my brother and I knew our job was GOPHER. Go for this and go for that. And we really wanted to help and would always beg to assist but the answer was always....Wait until I do this, or after I get this part done, its too hard or when I need you I'll say so. Consequently we both quickly learned that to help Dad could easily be done sitting on our ass in front of the TV until he yelled for us. The upshot of that was there was a great deal we just didn't learn. Not that he didn't want us develop the skills. But he tended to be a do it all myself sort.

And that is one trait I do get from him, I'm happiest and calmest when I just do things myself. Despite the frustration as the Petulant Child stamps her feet with her little fists clenched yelling, NO NO NO-I WON'T I CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF.

And I have come to learn a great deal of that behavior is due to another little 'genetic' issue I inherited from my father, ADHD. Much like his refusal to admit to Alzheimer's he also dismissed the notion that he had ADHD. Keep in mine here once I grudgeingly came to terms that it was THE major factor, leading to or in tandem with others issues impacting my life...... which led to my brother's diagnosis....... and both his sons......Trend here ya think? But recognizing we inherited it genetically-and from our Father. That thought wasn't permitted for him.

Which continues to lead me once again to the subject of Alzheimer's. Don't worry-I will eventually write on the actual subject of this post, Pool Wars....after I--oh look a bird! Should go feed the birds...oh forgot to put that in the trash......guess I lput it there on the way to the trash last tim.....nice breeze  NOTE: {ADHD=Severe Distractability, Impulsivity, Hyperactivity, Hyper focus, intolerance of schedule changes without notice......} oh yea Alzheimer's. Next post, I promise, and the Pool Wars........